The Preparation

This is the surgery I thought that I would never have. LOL LOL

December 1998

Tues., Dec. 8, 1998

Today I went to see my PS. I finally got a surgery date at long last. PS is pleased at how my nostrils opened up. My surgery is scheduled for Tues., Jan. 12, 1999. I wanted it as soon as possible but yet had to allow enough time for PS to advocate with HMO to do the surgery at St. Luke's. If I get to have my surgery at St. Luke's, it will be like coming full circle. PS told me that this is the last planned reconstruction he has for me!!!!!!!!!! I AM STOKED BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!!!!!! I was born at St. Luke's and had my first reconstructive surgery, cleft lip repair, there in June 1964 at the young age of nine days old. To have my last planned reconstructive surgery at St. Luke's would mean a lot to me.

The surgery will involve taking cartilage from my left ear and grafting it inside the columella. It will allow for more stability for the columella. Right now my columella is very contracted, which means it is very thin. From what I understand this will be a short trip to the OR.. about two hours.

I have lots to keep me busy until my surgery. I am working on a website for a non-profit organization.

Wed., Dec. 9, 1998

I started uploading a few of the pages that I have been working on.

I am not in a state of panic over my surgery. People can't understand my excitement though. I've waited a VERY long time for this part of my reconstruction.

Thurs., Dec. 10, 1998

I slept late because I didn't go to bed until very late. LOL I am working on the website still. It is a slow process because I am doing the HTML and graphics. I missed Ashley's program at school because I was working on graphics. Ally got to go to Ashley's school program and really enjoyed it. I have decided to build my own graphics for my own homepages.

I posted to a listserv about my excitement over my surgery. I do hope that people understand it.

Fri., Dec. 11, 1998

I am still working on that website.

Sat., Dec. 12, 1998

I uploaded the first of my pages with my own graphics. I am pleased with my creativity. Now I can actually make graphics that are my own. I use PSP 5.0. What a cool program!! And what's even better, I found some tutorials that have really helped me.

I was home all day by myself while my parents went out. They went shopping and out to dinner with my oldest brother and sister-in-law.

Sun., Dec. 13, 1998

I worked on different graphics and pages today.

Mon., Dec. 14, 1998

I went bowling tonight and bowled a little above my average. Last week I bowled a 130.. Nearly 40 points above my average. I continued working on my graphics.

Tues., Dec. 15, 1998

I worked on the non profit's website. The staff there emailed me.. One of the board members of my former employer died over the weekend. I had known the man since 1989 but had not seen him since I got laid off.

Wed., Dec. 16, 1998

I worked some more on WILS' website.

Tonight Ally was practicing her song for her program at school tomorrow night. Well she substituted a word for King that wasn't very nice. I thought I was gonna laugh myself silly along with my mom and sister-in-law. LOL LOL Mom told Ally that she would have to sing the song correctly for her program tomorrow night.

Thurs., Dec. 17, 1998

I got up at 1:45 PM. Then I worked on pages until late afternoon.

Ashley came over for Ally's school program. My parents, Ashley, and I went to Ally's program. Ally did really well. She really got into the music and she sang the songs correctly. :-) We could hear her voice where we were sitting.

Fri., Dec. 18, 1998

I almost have the website done. I still need to do the text pages though. But I have the main part of the site done.

I stayed up until 10:00 AM and slept 'til 4:00 PM. LOL Gee, Kristi, what great sleeping habits you have. LOL

My dad's oldest sister and her husband came over for the afternoon and evening. We had dinner and exchanged gifts.

Sat., Dec. 19, 1998

I worked on graphics. Kayla, my youngest niece, spent the night with us. I went to bed at 10 PM and got up at 11:10 AM. I must have been really tired from staying up all night on Thursday.

Sun., Dec. 20, 1998

We had freezing rain and it made the roads quite hazardous. It was an indoor kind of day. :-)

Mon., Dec. 21, 1998

Caron's maternal grandfather died during the night. :-( Scott and Caron will be heading for Iowa tomorrow for the funeral. Ally will be staying with us while they are gone.

I went bowling tonight. I had a good series for me.. 303. The other gal who bowls on my team is having gall bladder surgery on Wed., Jan. 6, 1999.. Just six days before me. We had treats and snacks to eat. it was great. Because of the weather, not many bowlers showed up. We were done bowling by 8:45 PM.

Tues., Dec. 22, 1998

Scott had a job interview at 9:30 AM and then he and Caron headed for Iowa. Ally stayed with us and behaved very well. Sally, their small dog, stayed with us too.

I didn't get up until 2:10 PM. My dad came and got me up because he needed me to go run an errand with him. Ashley is getting a computer for Christmas and my parents wanted to get her a program that she could create things. I picked out Microsoft Greetings 99 for her.

I resigned as a CL.. I wanted to concentrate on my surgery and recovery. I want it to be as relaxing as possible. After being stressed out the last time, there was no way I was going through that again. Anyway I was burnt out being a CL.

I stayed up nearly all night working on graphics.

Wed., Dec. 23, 1998

I spent more time working on graphics. LOL

Thurs., Dec. 24, 1998 - Christmas Eve

I woke up early.. like at 9:10 AM. I didn't need to be sleeping the whole day away. LOL I worked on graphics much of the day. It was quiet around here. Ashley called us that evening and told us that she got her computer. I am so excited for her. Her parents should have bought her one a long time ago.

I finally got caught up on scanning the kids pics. I hope to have their pages redone by the time I have my surgery.

Fri., Dec. 25, 1998 - Christmas Day

I woke up at 9 AM. I went and checked my email like I do nearly every morning. LOL I went upstairs and took a bath. I came downstairs and got dressed.. I wore my snowflake sweater with pink turtleneck and a pair of Levi's jeans. I checked mail and sent a Christmas greeting to the people on one of the many mailing lists I am on.

I went upstairs and waited for the family to arrive. Family members started arriving about 11 AM. By 11:30 AM, everyone was here. The kids opened up their stockings. Then the gift exchange started. In our family room, we had seventeen people opening gifts. That's a lot of people in one 27' x 17' room. LOL It took us about thirty minutes to open the gifts. Everyone seemed to enjoy their gifts.

We eventually had dinner, which was really good. There were eleven of us who sat down to dinner here at the house. Some family members had left to go eat elsewhere with their other relatives.

I checked my email after dinner. No one was around and there was very little email.

Some family left about 4:30 or so. Then Scott, Caron, and Ally left to go over to a friend of Caron's for a bit. They came back a little before 7 PM. Not long after they got back, we all had leftovers.

After Scott and his family left, I came down and worked on graphics for awhile. I was in bed at midnight.

Sat., Dec. 26, 1998

I woke up at 10:30 AM. My parents left in a little while to go shopping for some after Christmas bargains. I worked on graphics as usual. I spent most of the day and night doing that. I didn't got to bed until after 8 AM Sunday. LOL Oh man I am doomed. LOL

Sun., Dec. 27, 1998

After going to bed after 8 AM, I didn't get up until after 3 PM. LOL My dad tried to tell everyone I didn't get up 'til 4. LOL I am on some wacky sleeping schedule. It's not good since I have a surgery coming up in sixteen days. :-( Maybe someday I will get back in sync. What I need is plenty of rest to stay healthy. The kids need to stay healthy too for my sake.

I worked on graphics some and then bathed and got dressed. I ate leftovers for dinner.

We had some neighbors over around 8 PM. They stayed until about 10:45 PM. I came downstairs to work on pages.

It's really amazing that I haven't really stressed out over my upcoming surgery. In fact, I haven't thought about it too much. I guess that I have been soo busy working on pages and doing stuff for the holidays that I haven't had much time to think about it. It could be that I have been preparing for this for sooo long that I don't need to stress over the surgery. I feel very ready.

I still haven't heard from my HMO about my approval. That has me slightly worried. If I don't hear anything by Sat., Jan 2nd, I will call Brenda on Mon., Jan. 4th.

I have been working on the experiences section of my home page. It really hit me at times where I had been and the fact that I am having surgery in sixteen days. I am not panicking or anything over the surgery. I am not even having any weird dreams. Could it be that I have found my peace at last??

I am NOT pissed at anyone. LOL I think that a lot of it has to do with a lot of changes I have made in my life over the last several months.. I am no longer part of an organization that I was part of for two years. I left it due to personal reasons that I don't want to get into here. I spend a lot less time online these days. What time I do spend online, I am working on graphics and pages. I am part of a newer group called Cleftnotes. It was started by two friends of mine, Nancy and Laura. They are moms of children with clefts. They are doing a wonderful job!! A very supportive site. I have stopped doing a lot of volunteer work online. It was time to start focusing on me for a change.

My biggest worry is my money situation. The funds are getting low after being unemployed for two years. Two of my biggest wishes in 1999 (besides having a successful reconstructive surgery) are: getting a job and paying off my debts. Those are two major goals for me in 1999.

Mon., Dec. 28, 1998

I went to bed at 6:30 AM and got up at 2:30 PM. Such wonderful sleeping hours. LOL LOL I went bowling but had three really bad games. :-(

I thought that I was nervous about my surgery.. Guess what I am having PSS (Pre-Surgery Syndrome) again!!!!!!! I hate it. LOL I only have fifteen more days and then it will be over. THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!

I spent some time working on my pages. Making graphics is sooo time consuming. But I really enjoy doing them. I need to get my act together and pay for Blade Pro, an excellent plugin for Paint Shop Pro.

Tues., Dec. 28, 1998

My surgery is only two weeks away. YIKES LOL I am starting to stress. LOL

It was another night of staying up all night. LOL Not too smart with two weeks t go before my surgery.

Ashley stayed with us. She is growing up way too fast!!!!!

Wed., Dec. 30, 1998

I went to bed at 8 AM and got up at 1:00 PM.

GOOD NEWS!!! :-) Scott and Caron are going to have another girl!!! Caron's due date is May 7, 1999. There was a clear shot of the baby's face. The baby's face appears to be formed perfectly. I will have four nieces by the time my next birthday rolls around. :-)

Thurs., Dec. 31, 1998

I fell asleep at 12 AM and woke up around 4 AM. I did take a nap later in the day tho. I worked some more on my pages.

Today's kind of a somber anniversary for me.. I lost my job of 5 1/2 years on this date in 1996. The day past quietly. My parents and I stayed home and spent a quiet evening here at home.

I fell sleep at about 10:30 PM and slept til about 2:40 AM. I am on such a weird sleeping schedule these days.

January 1999

Fri., Jan. 1, 1999

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! :-)

I did go back to bed about 8 AM and slept til about 11:20 AM. I worked a little on my pages.

The meteorologists predicted a major snowstorm for us. Guess what?? We got three inches officially in KC. Here at my house, there is less than two inches of snow on the ground. They really vlew that one. LOL

Kayla came over and spent the night with us.

Sat., Jan. 2, 1999

I am ten days away form my surgery. WOW

I fell asleep at 10:00 PM and woke up at 3:00 AM. I listened to my stereo and worked on pages.

Rebuilding my pages is slow going. There is a lot to do. I may not get it all done before my surgery. But I can at least try. :-)

I still haven't heard anything about the approval from my HMO. I guess I will be calling Brenda on Monday. This is stressing me out some. :-(

I fell asleep at 3:00 PM and did not hear anything until my mom came down and woke me up at 6:00 PM. I was definitely out. LOL LOL

Ally spent the night with us. We've had all three girls spend the night with us one time or another this week.

Sun., Jan. 3, 1999

Nine more days. I worked more on pages. I built a homepage for Callie, my cat. We didn't get the snow that was predicted.

Mon., Jan. 4, 1999

Eight days to go..

Today was another strange sleeping day. LOL I went to bed late and got up late (fell asleep at 11:30 AM and got up at 4:15 PM. I didn't go bowling. I still haven't gotten my approval.

Tues., Jan. 5, 1999

One week to go and no word yet. I called the clinic and oni told me that they were still working on it. The letter had been written and the HMO needed some codes so Deloris was fazing them today or tomorrow.

I started building a family homepage. My main homepage is getting too big. LOL

Wed., Jan. 6, 1999

Six days to go and I am starting to get nervous about not hearing anything. I worked some more on pages.

Thurs., Jan. 7, 1999

Five days to go and nothing.. This is getting too close for my liking. :-(

Fri., Jan. 8, 1999

Four days to go and still no word.

Sat., Jan. 9, 1999

Three days to go and still no word!!!!!!! I am really starting to stress over it all. :-(

Sun., Jan. 10, 1999

Today was obviously a bad day :-( I went to bed at 3:30 AM and woke up at 7:00 AM. I got up and worked on a friend's homepage, which I started last night. Then my next to the oldest brother called and we got into an argument over NOTHING. I went to bed at NOON and slept til 6:15 PM. I was tired!!

I posted to CN late Sunday night.. I talked about rescheduling the surgery because I hadn't heard anything. After I posted, I went upstairs to take a bath. My mom and I talked. The plan is for me to call the clinic and find out what is holding everything up.

Mon., Jan. 11, 1999

One day left and no word!!!!! I am really starting to stress. :-(

I got a call from Brenda between 12:45 PM and 1 PM. TOMORROW IS A GO!!!! I couldn't believe my ears.. I have to be there at 6 AM since I am scheduled at 7:45 AM. I like being first.. Don't have to wait around. LOL I did tell her that I spent one stressful weekend.

I drank two big glasses of water between 1 PM and 3 PM.

I slept from about 3:30 PM til 6:30 PM. I got up and ate my good-luck pizza. I drank three large glasses of water before 11:00 PM.

I spent the evening online as usual. LOL I took a bath and washed my hair about 12:30 AM. I came back and said good night to a couple of friends. I noticed that my PS was online so I will give him sh** tomorrow about that. LOL LOL

I changed the sheets on my bed. I sat and listened to some music for a bit. I finally laid down about 3:30 AM. And I slept less than 30 mins. LOL Oh well I will spend the rest of the day sleeping. LOL